I gave this paper, which the student wrote in class, an "A"


The following paper earned an “A”; it is about 250 words long.


Note the effective thesis, the strong topic sentences, and the short-but-good concluding paragraph. (I added the boldfacing to make finding them easier.)


Note, also, how well the student used transitions: for instance, "In addition," "For example" and "Fortunately." 


      Raymond Carver’s “Cathedral” demonstrates numerous examples of bias, as shown by the narrator’s words and thoughts.

      The narrator said many statements that showed bias to the blind man, Robert. Before Robert even arrived for his visit, the narrator made the comment to his wife, “Maybe I could take him bowling” (Carver 79). This was a nasty comment, not showing much respect for the fact the man is blind. The narrator makes it clear that he would have preferred to have a more entertaining house guest. He also showed bias when he said, “Which side of the train did you sit on, by the way?” (Carver 80). Yet again, the narrator disregards the fact that Robert had a disability. The narrator's cruel bias was clearly shown through his words.

      In addition, the narrator of the story had stereotypical and biased thoughts regarding blindness. He did not like the having Robert in his home and showed bias against him. For example, “My idea of blindness came from movies. In the movies, the blind moved slowly and never laughed. Sometimes they were led by seeing-eye dogs. A blind man in my house was not something I looked forward to” (Carver 77). He later thinks to himself how he could not comprehend how Robert (being blind) could have had a fulfilling life with his wife: “They’d lived together, slept together ... and then he had to bury her. All this without his having ever seen what the ... woman looked like” (79). The narrator makes it almost sound as if Robert was lying about his great relationship with his now-dead wife. He practically scoffs at the way Robert lives.

     Fortunately, by the end of the story, the narrator realizes that his attitude toward Robert is all wrong.